YOU CAN DO THIS!
Shortly after the birth of my first child, I learned that my husband struggled with an addiction, that led to him being unfaithful.
I was devastated and felt completely crushed.
After several months of pain, anger and no changes, after much prayer and through the guidance of the spirit, we separated.
I didn’t know how I got into this mess, and even worse, I didn’t know if I could ever be happy again. I didn’t think I could ever even like my husband again, and the idea of ever being happily married was incomprehensible.
There I sat, with my 6 month old baby, devastated and feeling completely alone.
Through divine guidance, I’m sure, I was led to the WORTH group. It was then that I started to receive the tools and information needed to create my own happiness, regardless of my husband’s choices.
Between WORTH group, the book What Can I Do About Me by Rhyll Croshaw, and most importantly, a renewed commitment to stay as close to my Heavenly Father as possible, I began to heal. I learned how to be happy again. I learned to appreciate and love myself. I learned to trust God. I learned that I could handle whatever trials I faced. But… For months, I made that journey alone.
Eventually, my husband decided to fight. He joined Men of Moroni and learned the tools necessary for him to fight his addiction. Results were not immediate. It took time and a continued, consistent effort.
As we stayed anchored to God, and kept focus on our own journeys, we began the process of healing our marriage…something I did not think was possible.
It was not, and is not, easy. It takes a lot of work, as all good things do. Through daily consistency, plenty of learning moments, therapy, and reliance on God versus reliance on each other, we are now in a very different place.
I never thought I would be able to even like my husband again. Now, not only do I love him, I actually like him! He’s earned my respect and continues to do so on a daily basis. Our home is full of the spirit, love, kindness and lots of smiles and laughter. Of course, it still holds the occasional tears, heartache, frustration and opportunities to learn and grow, but mostly, my home is full of peace. In the beginning of this journey, I didn’t think that was possible.
It hasn’t been easy and everyone’s story looks different, but here’s what I do know, no matter what my husband’s future choices hold, I will be okay. My happiness isn’t based on what he’s doing, although he can add to it. I’ve found my strength, through God and others, and because of that, I can be okay and I can be happy, no matter what anyone else chooses.
Right now, things are good, and I truly believe they will continue that way, but even if they don’t, I know I can be okay, and even happy.
My husband has been back in our home now, for one year. We have two beautiful children and there is a peace present, that I didn’t think was possible. I’ve learned to love myself, again. I love the spirit in my home and I can genuinely say that I am looking forward to my future. The journey of healing looks different for everyone, and it is entirely possible for every one of us, no matter the depths of despair that you feel now.
Get help .
Stay close to your Father In Heaven.
You can do this.