Lust Addiction – Tree Analogy

( from by Andrew)

Imagine a tree with deep roots running into the ground.

The Roots: The base of the tree and it’s roots represent fear, pain, shame, trauma, neglect etc. In order to not experience or feel these difficult emotions, at some point the individual discovers that they can mask, numb, hide or cope with them by using sexually addictive behaviors.

The Trunk: The trunk of the tree represents “lust addiction,” as it supports the disconnecting, numbing and isolating behaviors which have been adopted to deal with the difficult issues at found at the root of the tree.

The Branches: Because the brain requires new information to create the chemicals which produce the numbing or coping sensations, sexual mis-behaviors are often progressive, and varied.

The branches which represent these mis-behaviors may include: pornography, masturbation, strip clubs, topless bars, sexting, chatting with other women, massage parlors, voyeurism, inappropriate touching, prostitutes, affairs, raking a woman over as he looks at her, checking other women out, magazines, emotional affairs, dating websites, flirting, fantasizing, online or inappropriate relationships or media. These mis-behaviors create chemical surges in the brain which feed the lust addiction – ultimately numbing pain, fear and shame which often lie at the root of the tree.

All of these sexual mis-behaviors can cause betrayal trauma to the spouse.